As repeat viewers may remember, on last week’s Kitchen Knightmares I served a fishy dish to the editor of Washington Heights’ neighborhood newspaper.  Well, turns out he survived to tell the tale—literally, he wrote all about it in this week’s Manhattan Times, the opening of the piece tells the story of how I found our current brownstone thanks to encouragement from actress Marcia Gay Harden.  Reading it reminds me that I’ve always been blessed with good Big Apple real estate karma.  While many young transplants spin tales of tiny Manhattan studios with tubs in kitchens, I escaped those nightmares when I first moved here in 1996.  Instead, I did battle with costumed characters to score my first pad in the East Village.

Here’s an excerpt from Alphabet City’s Epsiode 2: Will He Make It After All?

Just like when Mary first arrived and battled Rhoda over an insanely well-designed apartment, I had a similar fight over my first NYC home—only not with my best friend.  In my sitcom set-up, my pal from college Angela and I joined forces and battled a group of Japanese Power Rangers.  The East Village apartment we desired was in a newly renovated building, and while it was slightly more than we could afford, it had two levels, and a backyard, perfect for my foofy dog Winnie who was accustomed to carousing in her own grassy yard in Texas.

JP with Winnie in backyard of first NYC apt

Only thing standing between us and our new sitcom set were seven Japanese kids who had just graduated from high school, dressed head-to-toe in colored leotards with matching helmets, and flashing a wad of cash.  Their parents were willing to pay the entire year’s rent up front.  It was an offer that John the Greek landlord, just venturing into the realm of NYC real estate, could hardly refuse.  Our shot at a fabulous pad was slipping away.

But if there’s one thing I learned from Mary, it was a little charm goes a long way.  I invited John the Greek Landlord to lunch—he looked like a guy who didn’t miss a meal.  Over latkes and applesauce at Leshko’s Polish Diner just down the block, Angela and I asked John about his family.  He beamed as he showed us wallet-size pics of the strapping young men.

“It’s a very big Greek family.  All my sons in the business with me,” he said.

I wondered if any of them were single.

“Well, I can’t wait to meet them,” I said.

“Must be so wonderful with them being so close for you to look after them,” Angela added.

“It’s so hard for us moving to New York from Texas, so far from our families,” I chimed in.

I looked away out the window—like I was about to cry, when actually I was about to burst out laughing at the lie I was telling.  Angela was certainly close to her family—but I was purposely escaping my crazy brood back in Dallas.  My father’s parting words echoed in my head.

“This will be the biggest mistake of your life.”

I turned back to the landlord, and went for the close, ready to pick up the check, intending to pay with money I had borrowed for the apartment’s security deposit.  I leaned in, looking him squarely in the eyes.

“John, let’s be honest, after all the blood sweat and tears you put into that amazing apartment, who would you rather have in there?  Two good kids from Texas that are going to care for the place like a real home?  Or the hard-partying Power Rangers who will trash it in a year?”

While thinking about the cash the Asian superheroes were flashing, John looked at Angela, then at me—my eyes pleading with him for a break.  He smiled.

“Alright, it is you who will have apartment.  Welcome to Alphabet City.”

After dreaming about this moment for over 20 years, I grabbed the keys to my first New York apartment—and the beginning to a new sitcom life in the Big Apple.

Some viewers wrote in wondering why Kitchen Nightmares—usually filmed on Wednesday nights and debuting Thursday mornings—got bumped from its regular time slot this week.  Couple of scheduling challenges this week that caused the switch.

First, on Wednesday night I attended the press launch of the Four Seasons New York hotel’s new restaurant/wine bar called Garden.  The hotel has done a nice job of transforming the traditionally stark space just off the lobby with four soaring African Acacia trees, and a 15 foot high black lacquered wine case.  I appreciate that they don’t just call it a “wine bar” and then expect you to buy full bottles.

Four Seasons New York's Garden wine bar serves 150 wines by glass

At night, the Garden serves 150 wines by the glass—along with a special menu of cheeses, charcuterie and single origin chocolates (the ‘Heights well represented by the Hacienda Elvesia 76% cocoa from the Dominican Republic).   Wine bar is open Mon-Fri 5-10pm, and serves lunch/brunch other times.

Second, a special guest appearance was scheduled for Thursday night.  So I thought it would be good to throw in a Quickfire Entertaining Challenge as part of this week’s Kitchen Knightmares.  Joining us for dinner was Daniel Bader, Editor of the Manhattan Times, Washington Heights’ community paper.  I’ll admit that I met Dan out of a little self-promotion—I sent him a couple of links to Alphabet City postings that take place in the Heights (Blog Works in Mysterious Ways and Share and Cher alike).  When he found out we own a townhouse, he was intrigued for a possible story so I invited him over with the promise that my partner is a Chef.  Well, he is, I just didn’t tell Dan that I’d be the one cooking.

For the meal, I chose Moroccan Halibut and Carrots out of Bon Appetit’s November 2009.  It’s a very healthy dish that includes cinnamon, cayenne and mint.  After reading my last Kitchen Knightmares saga with the rancid pork, my friend and editor at Bon Ap Dana advised me, “don’t leave the halibut out on the kitchen counter over night.”  Sage advice.

I knew the recipe was already going to be challenging to me because I like to say I don’t know how to cook fish.  Which is just a cop out that has to do with the fact that we didn’t cook a lot of fish growing up.   Here are some things I learned in the prep:

Moroccan Halibut and Carrots

Caution 1: if you don’t want a mouthful of heat, stick to the recommendations on spice measurement.  Growing up, my Mom always laughed at how my Aunt Lou followed every recipe exactly measuring out specific ingredients.  Mom was more of an intuitive cook who spiced things to her flavor.  Since I’m such a nervous cook, I adopted Aunt Lou’s strategies.  But for some reason, cooking this dish that calls for Cayenne and Cinnamon—I decided to just sprinkle however I saw fit.  I’m a real cook!  Thankfully, everyone at our table enjoys a bit of spice – including Mexican born Chef Juan Pablo.  But I’m thinking I might need to seek a balance somewhere between my Mom and Aunt Lou.

Caution 2: for some reason, the recipe is written to serve 2 – seems weird to me.  I usually think recipes are for 4 or 6 so didn’t pay attention until I was leaving Whole Foods and had to go back to the counter for more.

Caution 3: my halibut filets came with skin on one side, which really threw me for a loop.  I tried desperately to take a knife to the skin to release it because the recipe calls for seasoning both sides.  With time pressures mounting, I ultimately just sautéed the fish with the skin on – which was totally fine and I think the right thing to do.  I’m pretty sure the fish monger at Whole Foods offered to take the skin off for me—but I was so worried he was asking me a question I didn’t know how to answer, that I just shook my head and rushed out of the store (twice).

Drum roll please…meal was a big success.  Fish cooked well, spices were a little on the heavy side, but okay.  I completely forgot to mix in the mint, but hey, there’s always a next time.

Kudos to Dan for being a delightful and willing guest on Kitchen Knightmares.  We’re lucky to have such an insightful and dedicated person overseeing our community paper Manhattan Times, which has become a must read.  A neighborhood like Washington Heights has many diverse needs not addressed by mainstream newspapers like the New York Times, so I’m glad they’re around.

And thank you, viewers, for sticking around through the scheduling changes.

Frida and Chef seem bored by my cooking attempts